SeanPiotrowski.net

So its Wednesday Night and Skanko and I are over and Shane’s house watching some Family Guy DVDs. We had a good time then it was time to leave. So we’re sitting out on the driveway while Skanko smokes his cigarette and we’re bullshitting. Skanko finishes and we decide to call it a night. Shane says he has to head to the bank. Now a little background information on Shane and his banking habits. Shane and I are both customers of Soverign Bank. The closest Soverign Bank to our houses is the one in the Pathmark plaza. Its like a 2 minute ride. Shane does not like going here because he has to get out of his car to go to the ATM. I however do not mind it. So where does Shane go you ask? Rt 37 Soverign Bank because they have the drive through ATM. This is probabily about a 5-10 minute trip to the bank depending on traffic. As compared to a 2 minute trip to Pathmark. So Shane begins his journey down RT 37 to the bank. Notices a cop tailing him from the middle lane while Shane was in the left lane. As this cop continues to blantantly let Shane know that he’s pacing him Shane sees a right hand turn at the Pep Boy’s up the road. So he decided to pull his E-brake and turn right at the last minute. As Shane proceeds down this road the cop pulls into the Pep Boy’s Parking Lot and proceeds to follow Shane. Still his lights have not been turned on. Shane barrels down this road blowing through a stop sign and then he sees the cop turn the corner with his lights on. Shane decides enough is enough and pulls over…

The cop approaches Shanes window asking him “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?!” Shane of course does not want to so he admits his fault in the low speed chase and the cop says he’ll be back. About 10 minutes later Shane sees a tow truck coming down the road and the cop comes and hands Shane 4 tickets. Shane’s car was being impouded. The cop says, “You got someone you can call for a ride?” Of course Shane does…

Its 11:35 PM, I have to be up for work the next morning at 7:30 AM. I’m sitting at my desk working on my interview that you guys just read. Then all of a sudden the Godfather theme starts playing from my phone. (The ringtone for my close friends) I look at my phone and see…”Shane Pajak”. I think to myself what does he want at this late hour. I figured he was going to tell me he was on his way to some girls house for some insane sexual exploits or something. But instead I answer and hear, “Hey can you pick me up?” Me, “Where?” Shane, “Behind IHOP on RT 37 my car just got impounded…” Me, “Ok I’m leaving right now.” So I get in my car and head to IHOP and wait in the parking lot…

About 10 minutes go by and a Dover Twp. Police Car rolls into the parking lot with Shane sitting in the back seat. It was a sight to see and I only wish I had my camera to capture this moment. The guy hands Shane the above documents and he has to get his car the next morning. I drive Shane home and the rest is history…

Funny Side note…Apparently there is a stealing ring going on RT 37. So the cop says to Shane, “You know this communication works both ways Shane…Apparently there has been a lot of theivery going on RT 37 and if you know anything I’d like you to call me. It’ll all be confidental. No one will know it was you.” The cop then proceeds to hand Shane his personal cell phone number. So now Shane Pajak my partner in crime for oh so many years and probabily the most criminal person I’ve ever met is an informant for Dover Twp. Go figure…

Moral of this story is…Don’t put tint on your front windshield and then get into a low speed chase with a cop when he tries to pull you over.

Well thats it for today…I have to get my day started. Next time we’ll have Kenny D’s Two Month Belated 21st Birthday Coverage…

Till next time…”WOOP WOOP THATS THE SOUND OF POLICE…”

Last night I broke ground by interviewing myself in a no holds barred interview. All of your comments about last night have been great and I can’t help but feel like you guys are a great group of fans. So without further a do I present the conclusion to the interview…

If you could live in any period of time when would it be?
Thats a question that I have often pondered many times. I have two answers to that question: 1. Revolutionary War period or 2. Now. I say Revolution because that is my favorite period in history. So much going on, so much excitement, and so much intellegence. Think about it America was born and these guys got together and wrote a frame work for a government which is able to still function today along those same guide lines. That to me is absolutely amazing. I wish I could have been around Ben Franklin, George Washington, and the others and spoken with them. To me it would be an extremely facinating event. I also say now because now is the time to be. I mean face it what don’t we have now? I mean we have so much and more. I don’t think I really have to elaborate on this topic so much as I think people would agree with me on this.

What was the one thing that has made you more angry then anything in your entire life?
I don’t think I could give you a specific moment in time on that. I mean I get pretty angry or pissed off on a daily basis so keeping track is pretty hard. But I will say that the most recent bout with extreme anger probabily came when my Professor this last semester tried to pull some bullshit on me by saying he didn’t see my hand and skipped over my group. I’m sure you all remember that but I think I haven’t been that heated about anything in a really long time. So yea that.

Have you ever been in love?
Good question yet again. If you would have asked me while I was still in high school if I ever had been in love I would have said yes. But now I can say no. You see in high school I was very young and foolish when it came to females. I learned a lot back then but I did go through some rough crap. I used to say that Liz Zurich was the first girl I was ever in love with. But now I’ll tell you that that is bullshit. It wasn’t love. It was a lie. The whole “relationship” was bullshit. As a friend or anything more she was the worst. I allowed myself to be led on by her for too long and I can honestly say I have never made a mistake like that ever again in my life. Of course there have been other high school bull shit girls which I don’t feel like boring you with but still now I can honestly say I’ve never loved another human being.

Have you ever dealt with some crazy people in your life?
HA funny you should ask that. A lot of people will say that I myself am pretty crazy. I won’t deny that I’m a little nuts at times but aren’t we all? But seriously the craziest person I ever met was this girl I met in the summer of 2000. Over the summer of 2000 I met this girl and we spoke on the phone a couple times and hung out and stuff. Nothing major. As the summer progressed we found that we had feelings for one another. So as that grew and developed we got closer. Then came August and it was time for her to go on a trip to Rome with her Church group. So she was gone for two weeks and then she came back. She called me up when she got back and was like “Yea I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” So I’m like OK. Fine. I wasn’t that crazy about her anyway. I did however find it a little odd that she would immediately come back from Rome and call it all off. Anyway…Weeks go by we talk online once and a while and then I go to college. So its my first week in the dorm and she ims me and she says to me, “You know I’m afraid of you.” and I’m like why? Shes like, “I think you’re going to murder me.” Turns out the girl was dead serious about me coming to murder her. She was fearing for her life. I was completely perplexed by all of this. I had no idea what to do. She kept talking to me and scaring the fuck out of me so I just blocked her. About 3 months later she IMs me under a different screen name and asks if we can talk so I’m like ok. So she calls me and proceeds to tell me the following things: 1. That the reason she dumped me when she got back from Rome was because she had her first lesbian experience while in Rome ON HER CHURCH TRIP! So she hadn’t been seeing men anymore she was seeing women. So ok she went gay on me. 2. The reason she thought I was going to murder her was because apparently she was a Schizophrenic and I really mean a Schizophrenic. So she was on this medication to keep her under control and apparently while in Rome she stopped taking it and didn’t tell anyone when she got home. So basically the night she told me that she thought I was going to murder her she ended up bugging out and had to be takin to the hospitol. She was bugging out so hardcore that they had to restrain her to the beds and stuff. And that is the craziest person I’ve ever met in my entire life.

You said earlier that you are fond of telling stories, what is your favorite story to tell?
Without a doubt it would have the be the Leeds Gin Dance Dance Revolution Story. For those of you not familiar with the story here it is. One night at my house when my parents were away *EDIT* brings over these two girls and we do some drinking. We had been drinking some Smirnoff Ice (which I hate) and then we hit the 1983 bottle of Leeds Gin and start mixing shit. One of the girls leaves so its me, *EDIT*, and this other girl. So we’re like DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION DRUNK! So we go down and we start playing. Then one of us gets the brilliant idea of playing strip DDR. So we start doin that sure enough I’m out first and I got upstairs to sleep. Next morning I hear *EDIT* and the girl leave my house and I get up because I had work at Funcoland. I go downstairs and I notice these red dots going up my stairs. I lick my finger and rub it in the spots and notice that it comes right out. So I go up the stairs with a wet paper towel and get all of these crazy spots off of my burber rug. Then I start to tidy up the basement and I come across *EDIT*’s t-shirt. Ok I think to myself next to it I find…a thong. It just so happens to have the same red spot on it that was all over my carpet. I don’t even want to know so I just clean everything up and all is well. So a few days go by and my parents come home and I get a call from them and they go, “Did you throw up in the bathroom?” I say, “No” Turns out the freaking girl threw up ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL over my downstairs bathroom and didn’t clean it up or tell anyone. From what I’m told it looked as bad as Lansing’s girlfriends vomit down at JMU. Don’t worry about how I took care of that with the parents but all was well. About 3 months afterwards I get an IM from a strange screen name. Turns out its the girl who threw up all over my bathroom. After conversing with her she told me that she lost her virginity that faithful night and so that those spots up the stairs was the remains of her…Yea thats right you know what it is. Thats my favorite story to tell just because of how bizzare it is and I don’t think I haven’t had a group of people laughing so hard as when I tell it.

Is it true you didn’t used to drink beer?
Yes believe it or not there was a time when I did not drink alcohol. Back in high school I had my reasons for not drinking but in college I forgot about them but it wasn’t easy. It was second semester freshmen year and 1985 said to me “Hey lets drink” and I’m like “No”. He said whats it gonna take for you to drink? So me being the genius that I am thinking it would never happen says this, “If I’m gonna drink I want us to drink Guinness while wearing scarfs and caps, while we dine on steaks, listen to irish drinking music, all while sitting on an Irish flag.” Sure enough that bastard pulled through on all of it. So me, Firehouse, and 1985 drank. I got drunk and so did they. We have the entire night on tape. I plan on drinking with my kids in the same fashion when they are ready and showing them all of the video tapes of me drunk at Rider. Hopefully by learning from my example they will not make the same mistakes I did, most noteably the big PINK mistake…

What does the future hold for Sean Piotrowski?
The future looks bright for Sean Piotrowski. I hope to one day rule the world and produce an army of offspring to carry on my legacy. I will institute a Piotrowski family tradition that will begin with my children that the first born son be named after me, Sean Robert Piotrowski. That way one day there will be a Sean Robert Piotrowski the 13th. I always wanted a number after my name but alas there was no Sean Robert Piotrowskis before me. Frank has a number at the end of his name and I envy him for that. BLAST YOU CONGILOSE! ::SHAKES FIST:: But I hope to have a house and shit soon. I want to be a bachelor in a house. I think that would be pretty bad ass so also when I meet chicks I can be like, “PSHT I allready gots a house bitch we don’t have to buy one.” I think a girl would find it to be pretty sexy if a guy had a house allready and it was decorated pretty manly but in a sexy manly way not like in a pussy Martha Stewart kind of way with pastels and shit. Thats straight up gay. I’m talking hard wood floors and leather, lots of marble, roaring fire place, and a bear skin rug. You know what I’m talking about. Also I will be rich. Because I will create my own networking consulting company or something and everyone knows consultants make coke dealer money. I’ll be the Tony Montana of the IT world. Driving around in my G35 or Hummer H1 while wearing cream colored suits just like the Columbian Drug Lord in Clear and Present Danger. I will also have a butler. He will be with me in my single years in the house and through the future. But the butler is clutch because I’ll need someone to cook and clean for me being that I won’t have a wife. (HAHAHA) Plus I’ll have someone to talk to and he’ll be British so it’ll be even cooler. I think he should also have a drinking problem. I think that would give him more character and create more fun times. But once his work is effected by the drinking it’d have to stop. My uncle went on a business trip to Britian and had to stay at this Lord’s house and he had his own butler and his name was Martin. The stories my uncle told me about his butler made me want one so bad. So without a doubt I’ll have a butler. So to recap: house when I’m single, butler, kids named Sean Robert Piotrowski with numbers after then for all of eternity, Tony Montana of IT, and hopefully a wife who will tolerate me and complete me.

You mention a wife. What to you is your ideal wife?
I’ll need a classy woman with large breasts and long hair. She will have to have an amazing personality and intellegence. She doesn’t have to be hot (Allthough if a hot woman falls in love with me I don’t think I’d have any choice but to fall in love with her also). Just cute. She will have to be able to make me laugh on her own. She will also have to own a school girl outfit, a black bra, and a long black dress. Thats all I can tell you now. The rest would be up to gut feelings and her blow job skills.

Any final words?
I’d like to thank you Sean for giving me a fabulous interview. I’d like to thank everyone for their support and well wishes. I only hope you tell others about me and let them know how much of a pleasure it is to visit www.SeanPiotrowski.net and how much of a pleasure it is for me to entertain all of you. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I have and I hope to keep seeing you return.

There you have it folks. The end of my two part interview with myself. If there was a question you would like to ask for a future edition please leave comments on the site. Tommrow I return with a hot and amazing post that will utterly blow you away involving one of my beloved friends.

Till next time…”I’ve been watching you, you can feel it too…”

This has been a long time coming. Many months ago Mr. GregColeman, God rest his internet soul, conducted an interview with me on the old Ward. This interview, while well done and informative, did not begin to scratch the surface of unmasking me, Sean Robert Piotrowski. A lot of you know me well, or at least you think you do, and some of you only know what you read through here. Today I hope to accomplish what few have done or even ventured to do…Allow you to enter the mind of me, Sean Piotrowski…

Sean if you will please tell us your beginnings.
I was born November 16, 1981 in Toms River, NJ to Bob and Donna Piotrowski. I lived in Toms River for 4 years and then moved to Voorhees, NJ. I lived in Voorhees for 7 years where I basically led a life of non-acceptance by the kids who lived there and utter bullshit with them my entire time there. In 1990 I was given a little sister named Corinne. In 6th grade I moved away from the hell hole that is Voorhees, NJ and back to Toms River to where I reside currently and I love every passing day here. I went to North Dover, Intermediate West, Toms River High School North, and currently Rider University where I am a Computer Information Systems major with a concentration in Infrastructure and Telecommunications and a minor in Political Science. I am 21 years old, I drive a 1998 Infiniti I30, I run this little site here, and I take things a day at a time.

What do you do for hobbies these days?
Well I obviously do this site. I’ve been fucking with websites for almost 8 years now. Back in 1997 I made my first webpage and have had some sort of site up and operating in one form or another. This however has been the most involved and most updated site I’ve ever done. I also dabble in film stuff. Nothing major just stupid short films. I enjoy watching movies a great deal. Story telling has always been something that has faciniated me ever since a young age. People always tell me I am a great story teller and that I am able to put them in the moment of when the event I’m describing happened. This is why I think I enjoy movies so much because I’m put in a place or a time and I am allowed to experience the events of the story with the teller. I want to be moved by a story. I want to laugh at the funny things, Feel the drama, I want to be scared, and quite frankly I want to cry if the moment calls for it. If a movie makes me do these things then that director or writer has done their job and thats something I aspire to do in my writings, conversation, movies, or whatever. I hope to one day write a movie and I want it to grip people. Quite frankly I want to write a movie that moves people so emotionally that they never forget the time they first saw my movie. That is my goal and I am honing that with my movie watching and story telling. I love music a great deal. Music to me is very much the same as a movie just is a different media. I enjoy watching skateboarding also. Playing golf is another huge hobby of mine, pretty much have always done this with Shane and I still continue to do that. I also can’t forget horseshoes.

How important are your friends to you?
I’d say pretty damn important. There is a small handful of people in my life that make an impact on me daily and I don’t know what I would have done with out them at certain points. For instance, Shane has been my friend since the 7th grade. He’s given me countless hours of advice and has been a good friend for a very long time. I could probabily write a book about him and all the things we have done and that to me says a lot about our friendship. Chris Kordulak 1985 also major importance to me. I can honestly say right now if he was not my roommate in college my first two years at Rider I think I’d be a very different person and I don’t mean that in a good way. Chris helped me get away from high school and help me see the bright future ahead. He was also a great listener and advisor in those troublesome times at the beginning of my college career and still continues to be. Of all the people I owe him the most because of everything he has done for me. Craig (Skanko) and Dave (Turbo) great friends of mine. They always help me have a good time and they help me laugh. I’ve always said that its hard for a person to make me laugh. But these two always find a way. I think we’ve come up with about 1000 inside jokes and its just a laugh riot when we’re together. Stephanie (Firehouse) is a great friend to me. She is a fabulous listener and unlike some of the others she is very like minded with me and knows how to give the female perspective of that. Her and I help each other out a lot and I think thats something we both realize and it is a driving force in our friendship. There are so many other people too, Mr. Plotts is a great supporter of things I do, Danielle basically helped me get through junior year in the dorm, Greg Coleman you know how I feel about him, Frank also another big helper in helping me through dorm life junior year with constant best buy and pub trips, Kay for being such an intellect and a fabulous conversationalist shes been a savior for me countless times as well, and I don’t know who else. If I forgot anyone I’m sorry its late but you know I know deep down inside how important you are to me.

Why do you do www.SeanPiotrowski.net?
Good question. It keeps me creative for one. One night I had this conversation with Chris about my life. In it I spelled out to him how there was a huge void in my life and yadda yadda yadda. He suggested that I be creative. Do something constructive. This site is very constructive for me. Writing has always been a forte of mine and I don’t get to do enough of it and this site gives me an outlet for that. I also enjoy making people laugh and giving them something enjoyable. I think this site is enjoyed and laughed at by many. There are many private comments that are not read by the public that I recieve day to day and they along with the comments posted on the site keep me going. They let me know what I do is good and right so I continue to do what I do. I owe them a lot and entertainment is the currency in which I repay them.

Is it true you once flipped out on Ariel Port for not finishing a Snapple?
Actually it is. There was a story that floated around North for a while about it so I guess now its time I discuss it. Basically boils down to this. Ariel Port is freaking annoying and I don’t think I know one person who actually likes her now. One night back in high school she was at my house she asked for a Snapple took a sip, capped it back up, and tried to leave my house. Now being the Snapple lover that I am, I cannot let this slide. Also I do not like it that people cannot finish a beverage. I mean is it that fucking hard to finish a drink? This is why if you never finish a drink that I provide you I will either 1.) Make you take it home or 2.) Remind you that you didn’t finish it. I don’t like how people have a lack of respect for the things I give them as part of my geneorosity and hospitality. I have no problem giving you a drink or cooking you a steak. But remember it comes from somewhere and you better fucking enjoy it. And yes I did say “People who don’t finish their Snapple” was my pet peeve in my Senior Blurb.

Is it true that you took naked pictures of yourself with your webcam while jerking off?
No that is completely false. That actually was Andy Kemmerer and I think everyone has at one point seen those pictures. So let me be the first to go on record publically by saying HAHA ANDY!

Who are people that you strive to be like?
My father, Bill Gates, and Sean Combs. My Dad because he to me is an amazing person. In the past few years I’ve realized what an amazing man my father is in both his professional life and personal life and I can only hope to be half the man he is. I could get into specifics on why but that would take way to long so just trust me on this. Bill Gates because he’s fucking rich as shit but also because he is a succesful underachiver. If there is one thing in this life I hate its over-achievers. Those kids in high school that got upset that they didn’t get into NHS or those kids that cried like little fucking bitches when they got all A’s and a B+. I hate them. I think this world is full of these suck up brown nosing mother fuckers that try to excel by being perfect and our society is worse off with them. Bill Gates didn’t do that. He fucking dropped out of college and learned from what others had to teach him. He also was a schrewd business man with street smarts. Look at him now he’s the richest man in the world. To me those kids who think that volunteering at the local Four H or sucking up to their professors to try and get ahead to improve their resume’s should get cancer and die. I see it everyday at my college and it makes me sick. I can say personally that I’ve never strived for perfection. Nor have I ever done any of the things that make me sick when others do it. I will tell you that when you’re a real person with street smarts and decent intellegence you will go far. Being fake and manufactured will only get you so far. People remember REAL smart people. Not those brown nosing over achiving assholes because those kids are a dime a dozen these days. If you want to be noticed learn the real world and how things actually are. Not what some fucking guidance councelor or parent tells you. I want to be like Sean Combs because of his style and flair. He knows how to make an entrance and he just to me is an intellgenent business man. He has many facets to his empire and that I think is commendable. He too also like Bill Gates came from nothing. It is these self made people who have real street smarts and sensability that I look up to and I think American kids need to be retaught on how to succeed.

Tommrow we continue with the conclusion of this interview with my answers on my love life, the future, beer, and much more…

Till next time…”I will run to you”

Today has been an interesting day all around. Went to work. CRAP. Came home. OK. Picked up Craig. GOOD. Went to see Shane at the mall. BETTER. Picked up Turbo. EVEN BETTER. Watched Terminator 2. BEST. Me, Skanko, and Turbo also assemebled the Modifier car I bought. It took us about 2 hours. It was rediculous…

This morning while I was at work I read these conspiracy theory websites and I learned a few things:
1. There is a secret race of reptiles that have the ability to transform from humans into reptiles and back again. They also are all of the world’s child molestors.
2. George W. Bush’s Grandfather, Jasper Bush, actually is in control of the United States.
3. September 11th was orchestrated by the New World Order (No not the Hulk Hogan group) to create tyrannical all controlling governments through out the world.
4. The movie The Skulls is based on an actual secret society at Yale which is tied to the New World Order and ultimately recruits our world’s secret world leaders.
5. Cathy O’Brien, the mind controlled slave of the United States government for more than 25 years, was sexually abused as a child and as an adult by a stream of famous people among them were the US Presidents, Gerald Ford, Bill Clinton and, most appallingly, George Bush.

RIGHT! Seriously this stuff was so out there I couldn’t believe it. Makes you wonder though…What if these people were right? Things that make you go hmmmmm…

If you still haven’t checked out the “Advice from Shane” section make sure you do. Its been getting rave reviews…Don’t be left out! Click the button below right now!

That enough for tonight…

Till next time…”but for now i’m just sitting at the table”