Hello one and hello all. How are you today? I am doing well. This weekend has shaped up to be quite an interesting one. Lots of weird and odd things have happened and I have decided, like always, to share them with you all…

Friday evening when I last left you I was headed to the boardwalk with Turbo, 1985, and Firehouse. This was my third trip this week to the Seaside Boardwalk as I am a huge fan of it and can never get enough of it. The trip was pretty normal for about 3 seconds until we saw Dan “The Gay Frenchmen” Hartnett. I hate him. So does everyone else I know. We had trouble deciding if Dan had gotten Fat or Jacked. We all opted for Fat because it is degrading to be fat and we all know I hate fat people. Upon walking more down the boardwalk nothing exciting happened except for the perusing of the typical freakshow, no relation to me, parade that is the Seaside Boardwalk. Upon hitting the end we turned around and headed back. 1985 brought his huge vault of tickets for rides we opted to experience a few. First up was the bumper cars. It was loads of fun. But I will admit I was quite perplexed when I heard the announcement at the beginning “No head on bumping”. What the fuck is that? Isn’t that the whole point of bumper cars is to hit people head on? It was nice to see that they did not enforce this rule. Especially when I was taking out the two twelve year old girls who decided to gang up on me. Head ons for the both of them. It was quite a rewarding experience. Now the crown jewel of our evening occured shortly after this. The ride “Rock N Roll Express” is modeled after the Himalaya except that it tilts to the side and swings back and forth as it goes in circles. Like the Himalaya music is played as you spin around in circles and a “DJ”, notice the quotes, usually plays music along with your ride. Well my friends this evening the world’s greatest Ride Operating DJ was working our ride and let me tell you, This guy was the Funk Flex of Ride DJs. With him at the controls and spinning such classics as the first song I can’t remember and then leading us into Nas’ “I Can” it was pure gold. This guy was giving “Shout outs to Danielle and all her cousins riding with us tonight” and “Hey there goes another party girl right there” and also working the crowd getting us to shout and woop and holler along with him. Also it was the longest ride in the history of the world. We were on there easy for like 10 minutes spinning around. Where as the group after us had a 4 minute ride tops. Apparently this guy’s name is Charlie. He is a black man with white blotches on his face. If you see him working on the “Rock N Roll Express” on the Coin Castle Pier I highly suggest you get some tickets and ride the ride. You will never forget the night you rode with Seaside’s own Funk Flex of Ride DJing…

After spending sometime with Funk Flex we hit up the Sawmill for some pizza and called it an evening. Upon dropping Firehouse and Turbo off at their homes Firehouse decided to throw a Wendy’s bag at my head. I then proceeded to get out of my car and remove her physically from my backseat. Eventually I backed off and went and threw the bag away in her garbage can. As I was doing this Firehouse did the most unspeakable thing probabily you could ever do to me. She took my entire Wendy’s cup full of ice and dumped it onto her lawn and then ran like a scared little bitch into her garage and tried to close the door on me. At which I proceeded to chase her into her garage and yell “I WILL STEAL YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD ULLMAN IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!” Firehouse may have won that battle but the war is far from over. So Firehouse in the words of Ronnie James Dio, “Something is coming for youuuu…LOOK OUT!”

Last night I went to a party with Shane at his friend Whit’s house. Beau and his girlfriend Katie were also there. Upon entering and paying my $5 for access the the keg and then having my hand stamped 3 times the evening began. This evening turned out to be one of the most interesting and intreguing evenings of my life. Here are some highlights: Upon meeting a gentlemen by the name of “Ice Goose” and his bottle of Grey Goose I said to him “Grey Goose and a whole lotta hydro”. I was speaking his language apparently because that phrase was shared many times between me and the “Ice Goose”. Marianna decided to play Christopher Columbus and discover for females every where that I have a nice and tight ass. After which all the ladies were discovering the riches and beauty that my ass possesses at the party. I saw Shane’s ex, Melissa #1. I did not recognize her she underwent a metamorphisis. Beau humped my leg on three seperate occasions. This girl who I think was named Courtney decided to put a sign up on a door that said “VIP ROOM 18 AND OVER ONLY” Which I think is pretty gay. Anyway someone took it down and she wanted to know. So she of course asked me if I knew who was behind the schemery. Me being the intellegent man that I am said, “Yea I did. I took it down THEN I WIPED MY ASS WITH IT” even though I didn’t. She was quite upset about that. As she should be because it was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard at a party. And then my friends the most unexpected and most surprising thing of all happened…The girl who threw up all over my bathroom that infamous evening three years ago showed up! Thats right folks the girl from that crazy and insane story I shared with you not so long ago in my interview showed up. It had been about three years since the three of us had been reunited. And there she was. I spoke to her briefly and I think I lost about 100 IQ points just for talking to her. I seriously never felt so dumb after conversing with someone in my entire life. It was like she sucked all the intellegence out of me for like 5 minutes. It was horrible. The funny thing was the whole night I heard people saying to other people, “Yo thats the girl Shane did from that story on that Kid’s website” and then the other person would go “OH SHIT. YOU’RE RIGHT! HAHAHHA!”. It was a very proud moment for me to hear people mentioning my website in that way. I shed a tear. Also through out the evening when people would ask me my name that I didn’t know and I would say, “Sean Piotrowski. Nice to meet you.” They’d all say “OH SHIT YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE SITE! I FREAKING LOVE YOU MAN!” IT also was nice to hear these words from complete strangers. I know I owe a lot of that to Shane and Beau for spreading the word through Whit’s circle of people and also to some degree Whit because I’ve been told he reads me from time to time. So THANKS GUYS! After all of that this girl named Jade started bugging out on the couch because she was hepped up on some crazy drugs. Saying “I Don’t FEEL SAFE HERE I HAVE TO LEAVE!” Then the stupid girl who Shane stole from was telling her to calm down and that I would all be ok. At this point I had felt it was time to leave. I rounded up Shane, Beau, Katie, and Jaime and we headed to IHOP at 2 AM all paid for by a drunken Beau and then I drove Beau and Katie home. While Jamie drove Shane home…

All and all a very interesting and entertaining weekend. I’m going to go spend the last few hours of it with Firehouse, Skanko, and Turbo so…

Till next time…”If you go, furious angels will bring you back to me…”

Hey. So I took a break. So kill me. WEEKLY RECAP! I worked Monday and Tuesday and nothing exciting happened at all. Wednesday Kay came down and we hit up the boardwalk. We walked up and down I tried to win a stuffed turtle out of the skill crane. No luck. I saw Amanda she was looking cute. I said “Hello”. We walked back down and I said to Kay, “Do you know about the Retro-cade?” She didn’t know about it so we went. We had a heated spinny soccer battle which I won 5-3, We had a heated Super Mario Brothers Vs. Battle which I won by 5,000 points, I taught Kay how to play Star Wars she picked it up in no time, and then we capped if off with a heated battle of Air Hockey. I won 7-3. All I can say is Kay you better brush up on your arcade skills because I beat you everytime. MUHAHAHA! We had some Sawmill Pizza and beer. Then we came back to my house and watched Equilibrium. She loved it. I mean how could anyone not. Its the greatest movie of all time. Did I mention I was stuck at work till 6:30 on Wednesday? NO I DIDN’T It sure sucked asshole. Thursday brought the release of Star Wars Galaxies for the PC. My life is offically over now that I can join the Empire and crush the Rebellion MUHAHAHHAHAHA! It is now Friday, I’m going to go to the boardwalk with Firehouse and Turbo. We will see what tonight will bring…

Till next time…”STAR WARRRRSSSS NOTHING BUT STARRR WARSSS…” (Bonus Points to anyone who can name who sang that song)

You’ve gotten crazy good amazing posts from me for the past week. Nothing remotely exciting has happened since Saturday. I’m taking the night off…

Leave Comments about Fireball Island if you know or remember anything about it. I remembered it well and want to challange all who have it still…

Till next time…”HOLY DIVER you’ve been down to long in the midnight sea…”

Saturday evening was a time of celebration and togetherness here in Toms River for yet another one of us turned 21…two months ago. Mr. Kenny D became a man…two months ago…and we celebrated this occasion with him on Saturday. It was a time of much fun and conversation as we were all reunited once again for fun fun fun by the ton ton ton. (Hungry Hungry Hippos) With lots of food, a keg, lots of hard liquor, other beers from around the world, and Kenny’s new Dog we were all able to usher in a new chapter in Kenny’s life…

Apparently I was “fresh” all evening. This coming from someone who apparently does not know the true meaning of fresh or me infact actually being fresh to them. So shame on them. Thank you SYDNEY, Austrailia! We basically all got drunk and had fun…’

Thank all around to everyone involved!

You got two mini-updates from me today so that is all for now…

Till next time…”I caught my daughter giving head to my brother…”

So its Wednesday Night and Skanko and I are over and Shane’s house watching some Family Guy DVDs. We had a good time then it was time to leave. So we’re sitting out on the driveway while Skanko smokes his cigarette and we’re bullshitting. Skanko finishes and we decide to call it a night. Shane says he has to head to the bank. Now a little background information on Shane and his banking habits. Shane and I are both customers of Soverign Bank. The closest Soverign Bank to our houses is the one in the Pathmark plaza. Its like a 2 minute ride. Shane does not like going here because he has to get out of his car to go to the ATM. I however do not mind it. So where does Shane go you ask? Rt 37 Soverign Bank because they have the drive through ATM. This is probabily about a 5-10 minute trip to the bank depending on traffic. As compared to a 2 minute trip to Pathmark. So Shane begins his journey down RT 37 to the bank. Notices a cop tailing him from the middle lane while Shane was in the left lane. As this cop continues to blantantly let Shane know that he’s pacing him Shane sees a right hand turn at the Pep Boy’s up the road. So he decided to pull his E-brake and turn right at the last minute. As Shane proceeds down this road the cop pulls into the Pep Boy’s Parking Lot and proceeds to follow Shane. Still his lights have not been turned on. Shane barrels down this road blowing through a stop sign and then he sees the cop turn the corner with his lights on. Shane decides enough is enough and pulls over…

The cop approaches Shanes window asking him “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?!” Shane of course does not want to so he admits his fault in the low speed chase and the cop says he’ll be back. About 10 minutes later Shane sees a tow truck coming down the road and the cop comes and hands Shane 4 tickets. Shane’s car was being impouded. The cop says, “You got someone you can call for a ride?” Of course Shane does…

Its 11:35 PM, I have to be up for work the next morning at 7:30 AM. I’m sitting at my desk working on my interview that you guys just read. Then all of a sudden the Godfather theme starts playing from my phone. (The ringtone for my close friends) I look at my phone and see…”Shane Pajak”. I think to myself what does he want at this late hour. I figured he was going to tell me he was on his way to some girls house for some insane sexual exploits or something. But instead I answer and hear, “Hey can you pick me up?” Me, “Where?” Shane, “Behind IHOP on RT 37 my car just got impounded…” Me, “Ok I’m leaving right now.” So I get in my car and head to IHOP and wait in the parking lot…

About 10 minutes go by and a Dover Twp. Police Car rolls into the parking lot with Shane sitting in the back seat. It was a sight to see and I only wish I had my camera to capture this moment. The guy hands Shane the above documents and he has to get his car the next morning. I drive Shane home and the rest is history…

Funny Side note…Apparently there is a stealing ring going on RT 37. So the cop says to Shane, “You know this communication works both ways Shane…Apparently there has been a lot of theivery going on RT 37 and if you know anything I’d like you to call me. It’ll all be confidental. No one will know it was you.” The cop then proceeds to hand Shane his personal cell phone number. So now Shane Pajak my partner in crime for oh so many years and probabily the most criminal person I’ve ever met is an informant for Dover Twp. Go figure…

Moral of this story is…Don’t put tint on your front windshield and then get into a low speed chase with a cop when he tries to pull you over.

Well thats it for today…I have to get my day started. Next time we’ll have Kenny D’s Two Month Belated 21st Birthday Coverage…

Till next time…”WOOP WOOP THATS THE SOUND OF POLICE…”